The spectacular United States President Donald J. Trump reportedly named Clunge Valley Times-Observer¬†on a short list of news sources which the remarkable, genius leader feels are “real and reliable outlets of public information”.
The brilliant and handsome President conveyed his message to Clunge Valley Times-Observer through Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders during Friday’s press briefing. After reading through details of the magnificent president’s day and Friday evening’s cable TV listings, as well as some other insignificant news and information, Sanders offered the first question to CVTO’s D.R. Everend, adding, “Just so you know, Mr. Everend, the President is very impressed with your work and your site’s work to provide America with accurate reporting about the state of our nation. Not like CNN, whose articles he says he feels like are written by some unkempt idiot stoner with a smelly shirt and a bong who just makes crap up as he goes along. He says you are on his list — his very short list — of sites that he feels are real and reliable sources of public information.”
Everend spent his first question honor by pondering to Sanders: “Is there any way this glorious president could be any more perfect?”
Sanders politely responded “Thank you for that hard hitting question, Mr. Everend, that is something the public really needs to be advised of. And the simple answer is no; no, there is not any possible way.” Sanders then continued to take less significant questions about The Greatest President In the History of the Universe from shoddy, unreliable new outlets.


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