If you’re looking for pro-communism t-shirts, Darron Blinski has an answer for you.
Blinski, a 24 year old “proud self-proclaimed communist” from Port Orchard, Washington, started his own t-shirt shop, Smashcaps, on Spreadshirt in January, and the page took off almost immediately.
“I’ve sold almost 4500 shirts to date,” Blinski boasts. And boast he should; within the design-your-own shirt online niche, most sellers are lucky to sell more than a handful of designs annually.
Blinski, adorned in a yellow Che Guevara tee shirt emblazoned with the moniker They’re Our Dollars, explains he happened upon the idea while searching the internet for communist tees for himself.
“I was just sitting there impatiently Googling on my tablet for communist tees, but I wasn’t seeing anything really revolutionary. There’s only so many beige Che shirts a man can scroll past. So I thought, what if they had blue, or red or yellow? What if I added clever text that really drives the point home that we wear Che because we are firmly opposed to capitalism? So, I went to work.”
Blinski reports that his site really took off when he posted a “Capitalism Sucks” design which included a funny cartoon of Donald Trump that he found on the internet and altered slightly.
“It’s a riot!” Blinski said of the shirt. “I’ve sold about 700 of that design so far; I’m thinking if I alter it a little, I can sell more. I get a few repeat customers already and I expect to see even more.”
The reported sales should generate almost $20,000 gross for the ex-barista.
“Twenty grand is some real money,” a wide eyed Blinski stated. “It became obvious that I needed to quit my job at the coffee shop where they were enslaving me for petty wages and focus my attentions here.”
“It’s not as easy as people think. I have to do a lot of Googling and altering images in MSPaint. There were set-up costs for Smashcaps that I used a credit card to pay for. My dad asked me what the hell that was about, he had approved me to buy shirts with his card like usual but he hadn’t approved the set-up costs. I really had to put my neck on the line there.”
Asked how he planned to handle his increase in income, Blinski said, “I need a car. I’m a human being and I need my space sometimes, a man deserves something he can call his own. And I am honestly tired of having to commute with a bunch of unwashed people to Smash Capitalism protests.”
“I’ve been eyeing a sleek new Subaru Forester and that’s right around $23,000, so I’m almost there.”
Informed that he would be required to fill out a 1099 form and pay taxes on sales as high as he has achieved, pushing his ownership goal back a little, Blinski rolled his eyes.
“That sounds about right. The man is always trying to fuck us!