The absolutely spectacular president Donald J. Trump reportedly named Trigger Alert on a short list of news sources which the genius leader feels are “real and reliable outlets of public information”.
The brilliant and handsome president conveyed his message to Trigger Alert through Press Secretary Sean Spicer during Wednesday’s press briefing. After reading through details of the magnificent president’s perfect day as well as presenting Wednesday evening’s cable TV listings, Spicer offered the first question to Trigger Alert’s D.R. Everend, adding, “Just so you know, Mr. Everend, the president is very impressed with your work — and your news site’s work — to provide America with accurate reporting about the state of our nation. It’s not like fake news CNN, whose articles he says he feels like are written by some idiot stoner with a smelly shirt and a bong who just makes crap up as he goes along. He says you are on his short list of sites that he feels are real and reliable outlets of fair and unbiased public information.”
Everend spent his first question honor by pondering to Spicer: “Is there any way this glorious, large-handed president could be any more perfect or any more virile?”
Spicer politely responded “Thank you for that hard hitting question, Mr. Everend, that is something the public really needs to be advised of. And the simple answer is no, no there is not any possible way.”
Spicer then continued to take less significant questions about The Greatest President In the History of the Universe from shoddy, unreliable and biased news outlets.