President Obama invited President Elect Donald Trump into the White House Thursday for a discussion of administrative changes and a brief exchange of ideas. The meeting lasted almost 90 minutes, and included a White House tour, where President Obama repeatedly pointed out places where he had “fucked Michelle”.
Admiring a Hassam painting in the Dining Hall, the president remarked, “Better get that thing checked for handprints, if you know what I mean,” slapping an invisible object in front of himself while he gyrated his hips.
As they wandered through the East Room, Mr. Trump remarked on the fine carpets and chandeliers. “Yeah, the rugs and stuff,” President Obama said, and pointed to a Steinway piano which stands prominently in the banquet hall, telling Trump, “Fucked Michelle right over there. You might want to wet-nap the stool before you sit on it, if you know what I mean.”
President Obama continued the tour, showing the president-elect locations where he had fucked Michelle in the Treaty Room, the Truman Balcony, Lincoln’s Bedroom, and numerous other areas. Passing by a broom closet, the president elect inquired if the First Couple had ever strayed into the smallish room, to which the President relied, “Show some class, Don. This is the bigtime. Closets are for oral only,” passing his eventual successor a knowing wink while he wiggled his tongue and made a cheek-prying gesture with his hands.
After the tour, the two retired to a private chamber to talk about the administrative changes. However, a staffer inside the White House confided that the meeting mostly entailed the President Elect asking the President questions about Michelle’s “breasts, moistness, and angle”.
“He asked at one point if the President had ever ‘nailed Beyonce up in this joint’, to which the President replied, ‘Why don’t you ask the Russians?'”